happiness and i

I straighten my hair, stand in the commons, dance at dances, and go to parties like the rest of them.

The truth of it all is that I'm not happy.
And I haven't been happy in a long while.

But a week ago I promised my smile I'd wear it at least for a little while. And that I'd dig out my laugh from God knows where I buried it.

And this is really just a list of happiness.
1. Chocolate
2.  Long calls on the phone for no reason at all
3. My brother comes home in June
4. Long walks
5. Lists and schedules
6. Customers that realize they aren't entitled and I'm giving up my Saturday night so they can have it off
7. Blasting music loud enough to make my thoughts give up on their relentless screams
8. Sunny days in February
9. Making him realize what he lost
10. Red lipstick
11. Lots and lots of blankets
12. Memories and phases and that song
13. Cologne (...dark temptation is hands down the best)
14. Christmas lights and I don't even care that it's March


So next time you see me straighten my hair, standing in the commons, dancing at dances, and going to parties, please
please, please, please
remind me of what really makes me happy.