Paris means more to me than a
class, and I know most of us feel this way. Too many nights I have spent
writing instead of sleeping. I should’ve been sleeping. But Paris keeps me
awake because the lights are too bright and the people outside never stop
talking. The words won’t stop coming even though its not for a grade, and I
have to many drafts of everything. The dropbox on my laptop is full; I guess
words can’t sleep either.
We watched dance videos and
talked about love and commented on alta june and wished we were avery moon. We
made videos and dressed up like hipsters and listened to hipster music and
maybe for a while we were. Because I could comment on your blog while you sat
by the knight, and you commented on mine while I sat at home on Friday night. I
could make videos and go places by myself and be the bravest I’ve ever been. He
told us how he was afraid of the future and I told you I was afraid of fake. We
wrote about the cracks in our hearts and we stitched them up with the words
that we could count on, that wouldn’t disappoint, that wouldn’t get mad or
ground us. I let you know me, and I knew you too.
You learned all about Auburn
Crane Hannah Smith a girl I don’t even know anymore.
Does anyone
even know anymore?
I feel like I’ve told you so
many times what my name is. What my name isn’t.
The truth is that no one has
ever gotten my name right. Because I’m an identical twin and apparently look
like an Ashley. Because its way to easy for me to fade into the papers I write.
Because I’m better at walking and walking and walking through the halls during
lunch than push past anyone in the commons.
So its ok with me if you know
me or not. And whether you know me as Auburn or Hannah really depends on you. And sometimes I'm more Auburn, and sometimes I'm more Hannah and sometimes I'm neither. I guess if you really want to get to know me, get to know my blog, and forget my name.
Simply, Me
