realtalk

realtalk

I dated #1 on the football team and I loved him for an entire year. But the last time I wrote him, he asked me why I was talking to him. I still check his blog every week, and when the song Budapest comes on the radio, I change the station.

realtalk

I think my identical twin sister is prettier than me. And sometimes I say that because I need someone to tell me that’s not true. We argue all the time, but we know each other better than anyone. I complain about her a lot, but she’s saved me so many times, it’s really just a formality now.

realtalk

Last night you might have said I was raised with animals: wolves and pigs. But I don’t feel bad about it. And when someone asked for my number last night it might have made me happier than I have been all week. It might have been the one thing that kept me dancing all night.

realtalk

I've kissed way too many guys but I don’t even care anymore.

real talk

I sat next to Innocent Chimp in 9^th grade seminary and I thought I was so cool. Nutella Waffles was in my Be The Change group junior year and I remember getting so mad at Rebel Rouser in 9^th grade, but I don’t remember why. I hope Sonny Jean knows how much she meant to me this year. I could say a lot about William J. Marz, but I won’t. Little red is a huge example to me. And thanks Philo Farnsworth because you've always been so nice. Sierra Leone I wish you’d open up more to people because people don’t realize what they’re missing out on. Jennie Duffy you say that I’m beautiful every time you see me, and I always pretend like I don’t care, but it actually means the world. You’re beautiful too, and I’m not just saying that. You are brilliant Beatrice, and never fail to make me laugh. Harold Miner I've seen you change kids’ lives and teach more than what is written on your lesson plan.

realtalk

People keep telling me that I need to forgive seven times seventy but my dad still hasn't come to visit me and it’s been 4 years since I moved here. I miss him a lot more than I let on, and sometimes I milk it a lot more than I should. He got married this last December, and I have two new step-brothers, but I don’t remember their names.

realtalk

I haven’t been happy in a long time, and on Friday my mom came up to me and said I haven’t been me in an even longer time. She said medication has helped her, and I should think about that too. Maybe I've gotten too good at saying that I’m fine, that I’m just tired. But I should have told her that the sun doesn't always rise in the east, sometimes it doesn't rise at all and I’m sick of going to school, going to dances and football games and student council banquets and proms in the dark. But being happy is good and I think I’m gonna try it out.